yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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