Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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