i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
