woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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