She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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