are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize