she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
