the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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