Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
