you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
