I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
