Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so let's talk penis.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
