Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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