Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
