I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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