this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize