At least make sure they are 18
Why
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I didn't notice because vodka
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
