Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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