I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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