they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
