either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think a kid would responsible me up
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
