Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
