All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
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