Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
