you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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