last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize