why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
