i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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