I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
