so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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