Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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