is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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