I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
