I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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