He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
