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addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
