tell your sister to shave her snatch
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
