He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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