wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
