are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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