he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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