Girls should come with a carfax report
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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