I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
