Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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