you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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