we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
