I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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