I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My pussy is not your playground.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
