lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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