I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
