we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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