he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
