How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
