just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize