i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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