idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
